The Turbulent Emotions of "Envision" by KillBunk: A Journey of Self-Discovery
As I first listened to "Envision" by KillBunk, I was struck by the raw emotions and vulnerabilities expressed in the lyrics. The song’s themes of emotional turmoil, love, self-destructive behaviors, and the quest for self-discovery resonated deeply with me. In this article, I’ll delve into the meaning behind "Envision" and share my personal experience with the song.
The Confusion and Longing
The pre-chorus sets the tone for the song, with the lyrics hinting at a person’s behavior changing when they’re with someone else. This change is not what the narrator had envisioned. The sense of confusion and longing for a deeper connection is palpable as the narrator questions whether the person they love understands the difference between lust and love. The frustration at not feeling acknowledged or significant in the relationship is a feeling many of us can relate to.
The Struggle to Cope
The chorus reflects the narrator’s struggle to cope with their emotions. Admitting to not feeling alright, they seek solace in the night, hoping to find some kind of positive energy to uplift them. The line "without you I die" implies a dependence or extreme attachment to the person they’re addressing, where their happiness and well-being seem to be tied to that person’s presence. The narrator also mentions getting high as a coping mechanism to escape their problems temporarily. This verse highlights the importance of self-care and the need for healthy coping mechanisms.
Intoxication and Disconnection
In verse 1, the narrator reveals their intoxication, both literally and metaphorically. Feeling disconnected from reality, they’re unable to discern whether the person who claimed to love them truly does. The line "Why that nigga talkin’ shit? You weren’t fuckin’ there" suggests a conflict or betrayal involving someone else, and the narrator expresses their frustration and disregard for those negative comments. They rely on drugs to numb their pain and escape their current situation, feeling alone and uncared for. This verse speaks to the consequences of substance abuse and the importance of seeking help when struggling with addiction.
The Quest for Self-Discovery
In verse 2, the lyrics portray the idea of the love interest being a source of discovery and wonder in the narrator’s life. They view the person as special and hold them in high regard, suggesting that their world feels new and exciting because of them. The mention of "seven wonders" symbolizes the person’s significance and uniqueness. The narrator feels incomplete without this person, declaring that they won’t heal until they find them. This verse highlights the importance of finding meaning and purpose in our relationships.
A Personal Connection
As I listened to "Envision" for the first time, I was struck by the raw emotion and vulnerability expressed in the lyrics. I found myself relating to the narrator’s struggles and emotions, and the song became a reflection of my own experiences with love and relationships. The song’s themes of self-discovery and the quest for emotional fulfillment resonated deeply with me, and I found myself reflecting on my own relationships and behaviors.
Conclusion
"Envision" by KillBunk is a powerful and emotional song that explores the complexities of love and relationships. The lyrics speak to the universal human experiences of uncertainty, dependency, and the search for emotional fulfillment and self-discovery. As I reflect on my own experiences with the song, I’m reminded of the importance of self-care, healthy coping mechanisms, and the quest for meaning and purpose in our relationships. "Envision" is a testament to the power of music to connect us with others and to inspire personal growth and self-discovery.
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