The Bittersweet Longing of "I Always Wanted To"
Cody Johnson’s poignant ballad, "I Always Wanted To", is a powerful reflection on the human experience of unfulfilled desires and the bittersweet longing for a life that could have been. The song tells the story of an elderly individual who is grappling with the realities of aging and the limitations imposed upon them. As I listened to this song, I couldn’t help but relate to the protagonist’s struggles and emotions.
A Life of Restrictions
The song begins with the protagonist’s sense of frustration and restriction. They can no longer drive, a symbol of their lost independence. This feeling of being confined and forgotten is palpable, as if they are being buried alive while still being capable of so much more. It’s a poignant reminder that as we age, our freedom and autonomy are slowly taken away from us.
Unfulfilled Dreams and Aspirations
The chorus delves deeper into the protagonist’s unfulfilled dreams and aspirations. They always wanted a son, a woodshed, and to experience the freedom of riding on an open range or learning how to fly a plane. These desires represent a yearning for a life of adventure, growth, and connection that they were unable to fully pursue. The mention of "pictures we never take" and "memories we’ll never make" suggests regret and a sense of missed opportunities.
Defiance in the Face of Age
In the second verse, the protagonist becomes more defiant in the face of their age and the expectations placed upon them. They refuse to accept defeat, despite hearing people talk about them as if they are incapable. The mention of Uncle Frank living to be a hundred emphasizes the protagonist’s determination to keep going and resist societal norms that suggest they’re too old to continue living a fulfilling life.
A Glimmer of Hope
The third verse takes a poignant turn as the protagonist reflects on a lost love, Marie. The mention of her presence floating above a chair suggests that she has passed away, but still remains a significant presence in their life. The fever that stole her at a young age adds to the sorrow and the reminder of how fleeting life can be. The reunion with Marie, even if only in their dreams or thoughts, offers a glimmer of hope and solace, reinforcing the theme of unfulfilled desires and the longing for what could have been.
A Life of Persistent Longing
The song ends with a repetition of the chorus, serving as a reminder of the underlying theme of unfulfilled dreams and a life lived with persistent longing. The protagonist acknowledges that they never accomplished all they wanted, but their desire for more has remained constant throughout their life. It’s a powerful reminder that our desires and aspirations never truly fade, even as our bodies and circumstances change.
Personal Reflections
As I listened to "I Always Wanted To", I couldn’t help but reflect on my own life and the desires I’ve yet to fulfill. I’ve always wanted to travel the world, to learn a new language, and to write a book. These desires may seem small to some, but to me, they represent a sense of adventure and growth that I’ve yet to experience. The song serves as a reminder that it’s never too late to pursue our dreams, even as we age and face new challenges.
The Universal Human Experience
"I Always Wanted To" is more than just a song – it’s a reflection of the universal human experience of longing for what could have been. We all have unfulfilled desires and aspirations, and the song serves as a powerful reminder to never give up on our dreams, no matter how old we get.
Conclusion
"I Always Wanted To" is a poignant and powerful ballad that speaks to the human experience of longing for what could have been. The song’s themes of unfulfilled dreams, aging, and the bittersweet longing for a life of adventure and significance are relatable and universal. As I reflect on my own life and desires, I am reminded that it’s never too late to pursue our dreams, and that the power of hope and solace can be found in the memories and experiences we’ve had.
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